That car held so many memories for me. In 2004 at the age of 20 I packed my life into it and moved up to Byron Bay, months later I packed it up again and we drove back into Bondi with our tail between our legs. In 2008 we got stuck in the northern river floods. Together that echo and I drove through rivers and over bridges that were no more. The longest we had been apart from each other was when I had to leave her up there bogged on a property of a lady who lived in a house she had built out of sticks and stones.
That car was my means of driving down to Robertson to see my dad and siblings, to Naremburn to see my nieces, to the gym in the mornings, to the market to bring home my boxes of groceries. It drove me to photo shoots for work, and when I needed to get to a friend in a time of need my little echo got me there in a flash.
After the accident I went through a myriad of emotions. On Thursday I had insane amounts of adrenaline running through me. On Friday I was in shock until midday and then an emotional wreck until I collapsed into bed that night. On Saturday I was exhausted and spent the entire day on the couch unable to maintain conversation with anyone for longer than 10 minutes and by Sunday after three consecutive sleeps of 10 hours or more a night I started to feel somewhat normal again.
Apart from bringing to my attention how reliant I am on having a vehicle, this weekend also brought to my attention the bodies ability to force you into a state in which to be able to repair itself.
Just for the record I would like to say this accident was by no means my fault but inadvertently just what I needed to force myself in to doing nothing.
I get carried away with myself sometimes. Much like my dinner plate, I have no barriers to portion size when it comes to my life. I fill every nook and cranny of it with stuff. The past few weeks have seen me attempt a full time job, a TAFE course, freelance home economy work, catering, 2 blogs (in which I gave myself the unrealistic and impossible task of updating daily), going to the gym every morning before work, making myself nutritious homemade meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner and doing all of this while surviving on no more than 6 hours sleep... Oh and then there is the whole maintaining friendships, visiting family and taking 5 minutes to sit and breathe.
Apart from exhausting my adrenals by attempting to juggle all of this I made matters worse by being disappointed in myself for not being able to complete all of these unrealistic expectations. If I missed a gym session I felt guilty, if I didn't update my blog I was slipping, if god forbid I got take out one night I was lazy. Ridiculous right?
The reason I'm sharing all of this with you is that sometimes the universe is a bit of a minx and tries to get our attention at a time when we're too caught up in hysteria to listen. So instead of quietly suggesting we take it easy, subdue the amount of pressure we place on ourselves and stop to smell the roses everybody goes on about, she instead sends a Honda CRV up your rear end and causes a four car pile up on your way to a work photo shoot.
So this week I'm going to take my mums advice and nurture myself. I'll try and stay as consistent as I can with my blogs but if I miss a day no big deal. The gym will still love me if I can't commit to it every morning and some extra sleep does wonders for a full time job and study. I will continue my home cooking because nothing nurtures me more and I'll share my most nurturing recipes with you guys because thats what i love to do.
And as for having no car for awhile? Well I wrote this blog on the way to work on the bus this morning. Can't do that while your driving now can you?
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